What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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