He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
