its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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