oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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