look no pants
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
