My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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