Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
