i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Reggie can tackle my bush.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
