I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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