lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I need to stop coming to work sober
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
