So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
