i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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