my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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