another moral hangover. fuck.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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