my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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