I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
