Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
