You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
this boner is exhausting
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
