It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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