I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
