Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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