When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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