I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
this is an emotional support booty call
I need to wash the frat house off of me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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