He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
