If i come over, it means nothing
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
