I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
where am i from again
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
