hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize