I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize