It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
