Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's never too late to be topless.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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