A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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