tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
