Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
