my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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