You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
