I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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