Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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