u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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