I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize