Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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