"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Farmville is her only friend.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize