I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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