Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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