sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
