someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
