Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize