You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize