TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
