didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
