hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
