he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
