She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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