Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
