Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
