so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
