Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
