Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
