ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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