I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
