You work out of a Hotel?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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