First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Found your dick twin last night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
