DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
