3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
