508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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