My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
