i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You can't motorboat a personality
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
